People can't want what they want

I spent all day looking for a new (used) car to replace our Camry that has now become the shining beacon of pristine used car-ness that no other car will live up to. I have been looking on Craigs list and it seems every "good" deal I find is a crock. The old saying holds true, If it's looks too good to be true, it probably is. I never knew so many salvaged cars were out there masquerading as "excellent condition" cars. If I wanted a car with a salvage title I would run back and buy our Camry. I feel extra tired today. The good news is that my neck and shoulder seem to be healing. I am still all "crackly" though. If I straighten my back or move my neck around I hear pops and creaks. But if I don't do extra wiggling I am feeling ok. I was even able to pick Ara up to see over the rails at the zoo yesterday.

We had a play date with an old friend of mine from school and her 3 year old daughter. Ara was in heaven, having someone her age to hang out with. She even defended her new friend... a little boy was chasing her so Ara pushed him down. I don't condone her actions of course, but I understand her little logic. She was sad when I scolded her for it and had her do a time out. She really tries so hard to do the right thing, I hate to correct her when she feels so grown up and proud of herself. On Monday I took her to the park and she yelled at a jogger, "No running in the street!" Today I put her step stool in front of the kitchen sink and she did the dishes. Which is mostly playing with water, soup, and scrubbing brushes. Before I could stop her she drained my entire bottle of organic dish soap. She turned to me and said, "mama look what I made!" So happy and proud of her sink full of ultra soapy water. What a character!

Hopefully we will make a car decision soon. I need to put this whole thing behind me, I am dreaming cars and accidents and STRESS.

I will have zoo pictures just as soon as I unload them from the camera.... Oh and I had dinner with my high school band director from California! That was pretty awesome possum.

Sleep time.

I leave you with a quote from a recent library pick, Six-word Memoirs on Love and Heartbreak.

"People can't want what they want."
~Dr. Drew Pinksy

Taking time to play~

Last week was so doom and gloom, with the accident, injuries, and the insurance drama. So today I decided to just get out of the house. Ara needed a day of sunshine and running so much and it made me feel good to see her cheeks flushed with exercise and happiness. We walked to the park with the princess carriage loaded up with Ara’s tricycle, helmet, bouncy ball, water (it was hot today!), and strawberries to munch. It was a good day.

I received information in the mail from the Montessori preschool I was interested in. I was so excited because the website for the school says it is a charter school, meaning free tuition but it turns out only K-5th grade are free. Preschool is NOT free, in fact it would cost more than our rent per month. Plus they run on semesters like the school district and they are a month away from summer break. I feel discouraged. I think she would really benefit from a few hours a day in preschool. She is so smart and active and she is dying to play with kids her age. Between the car fiasco (buy a car, drive for a week, get smashed by a reckless driver, tons of out of pocket fees) and looking at these astronomical tuition rates I feel trapped by the almighty dollar. I keep thinking if only I could contribute the extra money we could do this for her. The school sessions are only 3 hours in the morning. Not really enough time to have a job. I think it’s time to put some effort into building my studio up again. She is just growing so fast I feel like the clock is ticking and I need to get everything just right. There are no “do-overs” in parenting!

Technorati Tags: Montessori,princess carriage,fluteloop.com

The joy in learning

Foam letters in a craft store create preschooler frienzy!

Ara takes so much joy in knowing all of her letters. We are working with her on knowing both the upper and lower cases and introducing small words. She is a cute little learning sponge with a pony tail and a too small shirt!

Favorite Shoes!~

 

Here is a little factoid about me you may not know; I have funny feet.  I walk on the outsides of my feet, I have the Filipino shuffle going on, and I’m convinced they are more flipper than foot.  I’m ok with it, it’s part of who I am but until recently I thought I also had to accept that all shoes would be uncomfortable.  Not so!  Says the pretty shoe in the picture.  Salomon Woman’s trail running shoes.  The actual model I have are a little different but I couldn’t find a picture, this is close enough.  This shoe, is my new favorite shoe.  I expect shoes to hurt when they are new.  I’ve accepted that as a fact of life.  But these shoes felt wonderful from the first day.  So, for all of my fellow weird footers out there.. don’t give up!  And to the shoe fairies THANKS!

Technorati Tags: Salomon Trail Runners,fluteloop,favorite shoes,wide width,funny feet,shoes

Yummy

Ara told me I was a monkey.  I said she looked like a banana and asked if she was yummy.  She said, “no, I’m too hard and yucky”! 

The photo is a shot I took back in October.  Beautiful old pueblo style window framed with leaves. 

I feel artistically blocked.  I am trying to design a new site template for Wordpress now that I have control of my domain but I am drawing a blank.  I wish I could remember my dream design (literally saw it in a dream).. I saw it so clearly a few weeks ago but now it’s poof!  It’s been so long since I had so much freedom and I don’t know what to do with it!

We went to Target tonight and found some really cute Easter basket fillers.  We looked at the actual basket selection and both A and I agreed that there was no point in buying a cheap wicker basket or in buying an over priced character basket that would only be used for one year.  So we went to the home section and found a pink plastic tote that is perfect and only $2.99.  A picked out some super cute new socks and panties for her and I grabbed a dozen plastic eggs.  A Sesame Street book, toy truck, and we finally caved and got her another Fur Berrie.  She has been asking for Blue Berry Bear since December, except she calls it “booboo fairy”. 

Quick update on GoDaddy.  You can now upgrade your account from IIS6 to IIS7 without deleting your account.   It’s a simple setting change.  Be warned though, you cannot downgrade once you make the jump to 7.  After I upgraded I successfully installed wordpress through the GoDaddy interface with no problems. 

I recently used GoDaddy to transfer a domain into my name but I neglected to update the whois information and when the old owner complained, GoDaddy charged me a $10 fee to process that complaint (by process I mean email me about the fee).  I need to learn not to take things for granted… I didn’t see this one coming at all.  I assumed the info would be updated once it was added to my account.  Mistakes will cost you… be warned.

My old 280 z (32 years old)

This was the first car I bought for myself. I paid $400 because the owner was an old air force buddy of my Dad's. Originally the car was for his teenage daughter, but she left to live with her Mom so I won! When I got the z it had been sitting for over a year and the inside had a fresh(ish) coat of black paint and thick pink house carpet. The original owner had sprayed every surface pink! A and I re carpeted the car and installed speakers in the back. We worked for hours on end doing everything ourselves. College students on summer break with no money but lots of time! We even managed to get the paint shiny (in most places) by buffing off the paint oxidation. Lots of work! My z treated me well. It had well over 200,000 miles on it but it ran like a champ. I loved it. The only problem was that it was so old and the parts were hard to find and expensive. After a few years I gave it to my Dad to work on as a hobby and had to move on. Mostly because I couldn't bear the thought of selling it. That's how it goes with our first car loves isn't it?

It has been collecting dust in my Dad's garage for years now, but he is moving soon so today he rolled it out. Right after the z saw sunlight the garbage collection came by and the driver leaned out the window wanting to know if it was for sale! I'm telling you, everyone wants the z because it's so obviously made of win. My Dad probably will sell it. So my car heart is breaking twice this month.

The z and the camry... good cars are so hard to find.

I tried to go motrin free last night. I woke up in tears from the pain. But before I woke up I was having the strangest dreams where my shoulder and neck hurt. I wish I could blog my dream world.

My unconcious is so entertaining!

Spot

The last time we went to the library Ara picked up Spot loves school by Eric Hill and asked to check it out. Since then it has been a bedtime favorite. It's a board book with very minimal words so I usually embellish and ask Ara questions about what she thinks the characters are doing. Spot is a dog, he has three friends; a hippo, crocodile, and a monkey. On one of the pages all the animals are lined up at school with their lunch boxes, and our conversation went like this;

Me: What does Spot have in his lunch box?
Ara: Yogurt balls
Me: What does monkey have?
Ara: A banana.
Me: And hippo?
Ara: Grapes.
Me: What about crocodile?
Ara: STEAK!

I liked that all the kids/animals had healthy snacks (yogurt balls are close enough) and I thought the steak bit was hilarious.

Yucky Lizard

I have been so stressed and cooped up the past couple of days I feel like I am going out of my mind. So I am going to focus on positive things...

My Mom came over the past 2 days to play with Ara so that I could have some rest time (aka answer calls and fight with insurance people). The first day, they went outside to play and when my Mom saw a lizard she screamed so loud Ara ran inside. My Mom has this auto-scream anytime she sees something slithery, I can solidly pinpoint the origin of my irrational fears! Hahahah, I'm kidding, kind of. Well my Mom felt bad about scaring Ara so today she brought a package of fake lizards and bugs and a bug catching kit. I may be repeating the "super loud bug scream" the first time I see one of those in the house. Anyway, Ara loved it. She was the happiest little girl sitting outside arranging bugs and lizards among the flowers. She carried the 8 lizards around with her all day, in her pockets and carefully cupped in her hands. My favorite part is when people come over to talk to the "sweetie" and she holds up a lizard! Loving that reaction! We had the radio on to a local "pop" station and during every song Ara would declare that this song was a lizard song! The world is a wondrous place to her and I am so lucky (yucky) that I get to share her view a little bit.

Yucky to have eachother

While kissing Ara goodnight I say to her:

Me “We are so lucky to have eachother”

Ara “we are yucky?”

Support the Earth

 

Official Earth Hour 2009 video. Earth Hour is on March 28th, 2009 at 8:30pm. More at http://www.earthhour.org
Support Earth Hour by making your own video and adding it to our Earth Hour Global group here:

http://www.youtube.com/group/earthhourglobal

Check out the Flicker photo stream for some nifty images:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/earthhour_global/

Support the earth!

Technorati Tags: earth hour,2009,fluteloop,tree huggers,turn off the lights

My Little Slice of the Internets…

I am now the proud owner of two domains that are fluteloop related.  I own them.. well kind of… as much as you can "own” anything on the internet I guess.  Anyway, I learned a lot during the process of transferring my old domain into my name.  When I got the email saying it was finally complete I was overjoyed.  I immediately started planning the content and look.  I also started thinking about what content management system I would like to use.  I have blogged on Blogger for years now and I don’t have many complaints.  I also have a few test blogs set up on Wordpress.  In general I feel like Wordpress has more of the options I need and a nicer dashboard interface.  But Blogger gives me access to modify my HTML which has made modifying templates so much easier and it connects me to my word (gmail, reader, photos).  I also blog on livejournal which is great for the community but not even in the running as far as I’m concerned.  I started looking around and I found that I could download wordpress, install it on my own site and have unrestricted access to it!  No compromise necessary, I can have every thing I want and need!

Woo freaking Hoo!

***snag***

You knew it was coming right?  I logged into my GoDaddy account and found that my hosting plan was not compatible. 

What?

How is that possible.. I looked at the comparison charts and my economy plan had a big ol’check mark next to PHP and Wordpress.  So I assume there is some mistake (on my part of course).  I do what I always do when I don’t understand something… I turned to google.  I found an article from March 2, 2009 on Michael’s Techbox called Thinking of hosting with GoDaddy?. 

GoDaddy won’t install WordPress on IIS 6.

I started by signing up for a Deluxe Windows Hosting Package, so that I could test out some MVC stuff, and play around with new .net stuff. At the same time I was told that it was “no problem” to install a wordpress blog in the Windows package. It was a matter of a few clicks. Unfortunately the GoDaddy software requires you to select IIS 7 during the account setup, if you intend to run PHP. There were no warnings or prompts about this. Technically PHP is capable of running on either IIS 6 or 7. So this is a GoDaddy specific issue. I installed IIS 6, hoping to install an older version for maximum compatibility. The only way to resolve this is to completely delete the account and restart. This implies getting refunded on money spent and repurchasing the package. If you don’t believe this - here is offical GoDaddy communication to confirm this.

Upon review of the currently hosting plan you have with us, it is not compatible with WordPress.  WordPress requires PHP language support.   Your hosting account is an IIS6 Windows hosting account, which does not support PHP scripting.  If this website is using only non-Windows based programming, then it is advisable to migrate the account to a Linux hosting account.  If you must use Windows for any ASP.NET, Microsoft databases or other specific Windows scripting, then this account will need to be canceled, repurchased and then setup as an IIS7 configuration for Windows which does support PHP 5 scripting (not PHP 4).  We do not offer an upgrade from IIS6 to IIS7.  Please use the steps below for the different options suggested to resolve this connectivity issue.

No matter how you look at this, its totally unacceptable. But could have been avoided if I had a support technician on the line with me during setup. I would also like to again remind you that You absolutely cannot blame the support engineers for this type of answer,  instead the real reason behind this, the outdated software that drives GoDaddy.com. I decided it was easier (cheaper too) to migrate to Linux.

A GoDaddy representative actually commented on his article! 

Considering this is problem is GoDaddy specific I think they should fix it or at least put something about it in the set up screen.  But that is my non-tech savvy opinion.  I have no idea what that would entail.  I sent a support email, hoping that they have somehow found a better solution than deleting my account and starting over.  I will have my answer sometime in the next 24 hours or so.  Overall, I am disappointed.  I have only used GoDaddy in the past for domain registration.  My hosting experience thus far has not been positive.  If I am told I need to delete and start again I will be looking at other hosting companies.  I should have done my homework before setting up my account with GoDaddy.

Technorati Tags: GoDaddy,fluteloop.com,domain,hosting,wordpress,blogger

“Screw Bailouts, Energy Efficiency Could Save Us $168 Billion”

Energy efficiency initiatives that reduce electricity and gas usage could save consumers and businesses up to $168 billion, says the American Council for an Energy-Efficient Economy (ACEEE).

Read the Article on Digg

Chatter-box

Every time I take a picture of her running, neither of her feet seem to be touching the ground.  Solid evidence that she is in fact a cartoon!  Her legs just blur and she runs on air.

A boy at church decided to tease her and call her a name… “chatter-box”. He told the other kids to run away from the chatter box and then watched for her reaction.  Ara just looked at him for a second, then dismissed him.  Owned. 

 

 

Technorati Tags: teasing,kids,church,running,fluteloop

Jason

Sometimes bad things make you thankful.  Today I am thankful. 

 

I found out last night via the blogosphere that an old friend had taken his own life.  Jason was someone I connected with online.  When I met him I was just beginning to find I had an interest in design.  Jason, or JasoNYC as he was to me then seemed to know it all.  He seemed to crackle with wit, sarcasm, and talent.  We would talk everyday about our projects and he would give me honest and critical comments.  Sometimes they stung, but I would dive back in and realize he was right, I could do better.  We would even play “photoshop tennis” passing an image back and forth, taking turns adding increasingly far out elements.  I felt a real connection to him in this area but looking back I knew so little of Jason himself.  We both moved on and we haven’t spoken much these past few years.  My last communication with him was a year ago through Deviant Art. 

The post by Chris Diclerico about Jason is really touching and explains a little to me how Jason could come to this point.  It also has links to Jason’s work, he was an amazing photographer.  Several of the pictures in his galleries were taken when he and I were still talking everyday and they look so alive and contrary to the reality that all of his friends are facing now. 

I have been looking through old blog posts from back in the day and I found this.  It’s nothing more than nonsense but it made me laugh and laugh at the time:

The following is a transcript of a chat I had with my friend Jason, master of random thoughts:

~fluteloop~ : It was sort of ghetto-an-istic... fight or be fighted upon
?jason? : I hate being fighted upon when I'm not in the mood.
~fluteloop~ : so true
?jason? : But after I watch fight type movies...
~fluteloop~ : you totally want to kick some ppl!
~fluteloop~ : yeah!
~fluteloop~ : Im with you!
?jason? : Like Spiderman 2, I was so ready to climb up some walls and fight crime.
~fluteloop~ : I will have to go see that
?jason? : Not really bad crime with guns and stuff.
~fluteloop~ : I just said that...but I know I wont go...crazy
?jason? : Just like...if someone's peeing, and they try to pee on me, I would totally yell at them.
~fluteloop~ : well... you
~fluteloop~ : are a new yorker youre tough and stuff
~fluteloop~ : I would yell at them too but then later I would cry
?jason? : I would yell stuff like 'Hey! Don't pee on me!' And smart things like that.
~fluteloop~ : good call
?jason? : And...
~fluteloop~ : i would say 'whats wrong with you?'
?jason? : Dude. You just totally took what I was going to say...
~fluteloop~ : I also like refering to ppl as pieces of crap
?jason? : Pieces of crap goes with so many occasions.
~fluteloop~ : and that might pertain to the situation
?jason? : You can call someone a piece of crap.
?jason? : Something can BE a piece of crap.
?jason? : You can FEEL like a piece of crap.
~fluteloop~ : cant breathe
?jason? : Versatility is a major part of any important slanderous phrase.

I can’t believe this is a world without him, I hope he found his peace.

---

You Look Ridiculous, I mean Warm...

Wait.. what?

When the family stood up to cheer while wearing the Snuggie I had to laugh! Is it just me or is this reminiscent of a monks robes?

My Sole is Tired…

It’s that time, actually it’s waaay past that time. 

Time for new shoes. 

My absolute favorite pair of walking/elliptical shoes are starting to look so ratty even I am aware of it!  These were KangaROOS ordered from Endless a shoe and handbag website with free shipping and good prices.  I remembered having ROOs when I was a kid.  They were awesome shoes with little zipper pockets in them.  Back in the day when there were such things as pay phones and two quarters in your shoe could mean a soda, a couple saladito's’ from the ice cream truck, or a phone call home for a ride. 

In short they were awesome! 

This particular pair were my favorite because they were mary jane style slip-ons so I could literally step into my shoes on the way out the door.  They had a cushion insole that came out so it could be washed and they felt like you weren’t wearing shoes at all.  Aww how I will miss them!

So this leads me to my search for new shoes.  I bought a pair last night at Target with my birthday gift card but then on the way home Alex said, “You should have looked on Endless again since you liked that pair so much”. 

And I realized he was exactly right but don’t tell him, it goes to his head. 

So I sat down and happily spent an hour shoe shopping online.  There is a lot to be said for online shopping.  Especially with free shipping (amazon’s shipping is so high I hardly ever click “buy”).  I love that I can spend all the time I need without keeping track of Ara, who gets VERY excited around shoes.  I also really like the little description they give you about every shoe.  I don’t know why, but it really adds to the experience!  So I found some Sketcher’s that were similar to my old ROO’s but there is something too trendy/girly about them.  I want the quirky KangaROOS from my childhood.  Take my feet back in time please!

So I have narrowed it down to two pairs:

The first pair look cute and have the zipper pouch but they have laces and I don’t know if I can spare an extra 10 seconds to tie my shoes.

The second pair resemble my old pair but they don’t have the criss cross straps on top and the color options aren’t very festive, if I was only going to use them in a gym I would like the white.  But I will use these for walking as well so I think the black would be more practical.

 

Decisions decisions.

Unfinished. Throwing it out finally.

I started painting this years and years ago in an oil class. I always intended to finish it but setting up oil paints is a lot of work. Plus the paints are toxic so with Arababy around it's a no-go. So goodbye dusty canvas clutter!

Now that I look at it, it was ugly anyway!

Why do we keep all the things we keep to make our lives dustier?

To the A man

Alex,

I know you have been stressed but it was all worth it and you were great! I love you.

He wants a hug!

You (and this leaf) are really important to me.

Today was errand day!  I had a To-Do list that was looming over my head so I packed up a freshly bathed baby girl and headed out.  Can I just say that there is nothing like 6 months on the bus and hoofing it to make you appreciate riding in a nice cool car!  It was 88° on this lovely March day and I could not be happier that  I am not sitting at a bus stop with 2 gallons of water in my purse and a grumpy preschooler at my side.  Haha 2 gallons of water would have to mean I carry one very large purse… so I may have exaggerated the amount but still.. it’s heavy! 

In the car we drove by something that looked like a school and Ara said, “I want to go to big girl school, I don’t like mama school!”.  Break my heart!  I know that on errand day, mommy school does pretty much suck but it hurt a little all the same.  I think Ara is telling me something.. she just might be ready.  I think I will let myself feel a little sad about that right now.  Don’t bother pointing out the positives, sometimes it’s ok to feel sad and I do!

I’m still coughing like a 50 year old smoker and I’m still grumpy-lady, and I just want to lie down and take a nap.  Does it seem like being “sick” is more common now?  I mean, it’s probably just my perspective but I don’t remember having this many colds any other time in my life.. so is it my age or the germy times? 

A friend of mine on facebook just posted a picture of their new tattoo..

I don’t mean to offend anyone but I just don’t see why anyone would want permanent “clip art” on their body.  I mean I have seen some people who go to artists and have something truly original and arguably beautiful done and even though I wouldn’t personally choose to do it I can appreciate it.  But, really with the butterfly on your back?  Or the flower on your ankle?  All I am saying is that generic clip-art type tattoos are really not so much a personal expression of anything apart from "I like other people’s doodles so much I paid to have one drawn on my skin'”.  To me, they seem like more of a label of conforming to a stereotype.  One of my high school boyfriends had my initials tattooed on his chest as a valentines gift to me.  It might have been more of a romantic gesture except that he also put a marijuana leaf on his back.  It was like, “look, you and this leaf are like really important to me”.  He showed me his raw skin and he looked so darn proud of himself.  I was horrified.  I tried to act enthusiastic but I really just wanted a card and maybe a balloon (balloons were all the rage as status symbols in HS)! 

Oh, that reminds me of that song.. you know the one?  Something like, “Just like a tattoo.  I’ll always have you.”  Yeah, that makes me laugh.  Ridiculous lyrics and sentiment if you ask cynical me, which no one did, but like whatever!

Doodles are for scraps of paper you keep in your purse not for your butt! 

Haha. 

Sorry Facebook friend.. I can be such a jerk.

 

“Just like this scar on my right arm.  I’ll always have you.”

“Just like this sarcastic take on pop lyrics.  I’ll always have you.”

“Just like my craving for chocolate.  I’ll always have you.”