"Curiosity"

July07
Originally uploaded by fluteloop

I've sent out the invitations to her party, I already have the decorations (Elmo), Ara's aunt is taking care of the cake (last year mine was a tiny bit of a disaster), and I feel cautiously prepared! Ara's new favorite character is Nemo, the fish. She has a Nemo and a Dory bath toy that she has started carrying around with her. It's so cute, in the car she sits there pretending they are talking to each other and swimming. I have to remind myself to drive and not watch Ara in her beautiful pretend world. A and I have been talking over how we are going to work his new work schedule into my Fall teaching. We would both be gone until after 6 pm which is later than most Daycares will keep kids. Plus the idea of my Ara sitting in a school until that time breaks my heart. So, it is with much regret that I have decided to pass my East side studio on to another lucky teacher. I feel sad about this, but I feel good about being there for Ara. I will be teaching 1.5, maybe 2 days a week now. I don't know why that scares me. Letting go, making change. Giving up something I worked so hard to build. Trusting the students I have grown to love to another teacher.

I miss the days when emotions were simple.
One emotion please.
It seems I feel "torn" about everything.
I feel sad about giving up my studio.
I feel good about the decision.
I want to be home with my daughter.
I want to maintain my sense of self and do the things that fulfill me. Blah blah blah.

My train of thought just ran out of track.

Hopefully I will be seeing some of my old quintet this weekend before Brandon "Horn dog" (a reference to his instrument not what you were thinking!) moves out of state. Also, if Megan's life slows down a little I might get to hash out some Harry Potterisms over lunch! /happy

Oh a side note... I think Safeway has started offering delivery of groceries in my area! A didn't seem to excited about this.. but I am! You click, click, click and if you spend over $50 you get them delivered FREE! Also, if you order before 9:30 am they will deliver them the same day. This is pure genius at work. Don't call me lazy until you shop with a 2 year old. Now.. if I could con someone else into going to the laundromat I would be content.