- Concerto!!!
- memorization
- accompaniment
- dress
- child care during the MANY rehearsals
- I need a place to practice where I can blast the high notes!
- Car registration (it is still smoking so I doubt it is going to pass)
- Car accident today
- Quintet rehearsal and music right smack in stress week
- Jury Duty
Solo
I had to make a list of all the things stressing me out right now because I feel like if I write them down maybe they will be easier to handle. I used to carry around this stress about performances when I was in school, I thought I had outgrown it but here it is and here I am. I think it is due in large part to the fact that this is a piccolo concerto and I have never soloed on pic, let alone on my sad little Artley that has been in need of repair for years. I have found that I am very reluctant to have any of my instruments repaired. I know that is strange, and don't tell my students because I regularly lecture them on this very subject. I guess I am superstitious and/or lazy. I don't want anyone messing up my instruments. How is that possible since there is actually tape holding together my foot joint? Don't look for logic here, there is none. Now that I have typed that out I see how stupid I am being and I will make an attempt to track down someone who can do the work. I already know I am going to be half hearted about it lol. I am secretly hoping someone will save me and lend me their awesome piccolo for the performance and that I will magically be comfortable on it. Let's leave that topic alone, I stress myself out!
I talked to my old professor today and he is going to see me in a week or so when he gets back into town. I think having his blessing will help my confidence. Although if he is horrified with my playing, that will not help lol!
I bought a dress last week at Ross! I recently discovered I love that store lol. So, I found this dress that I loved and it was $25 which is a fraction of the other dresses I have been looking at and I loved it for a week. Now, I'm not sure. I need to find some sort of little shawl thing to wear with it and that seems hard. Also it isn't floor length it's mid calf which makes me feel less fancy than most of the soloist I can remember. I don't know. We will see how I feel next week.
Car Accident
Ara and I were rear ended today as we made our way home from a long list of errands. We were approaching the railroad crossing when the lights suddenly started flashing. The road approaches the crossing from under an highway overpass so I had no warning visually that a train was even coming. I had to stop suddenly and BAM the car behind me slams into us and pushes the car ominously close to the tracks. I try to reverse but I have no room and I am gesturing wildly to the car that hit us to back up as the mechanical arm slowly descends onto the roof of our car. I don't even have to turn my head to know that a train is racing towards us, the nose of the car is still too close to the tracks. At this point I am in reverse and I am prepared to move the car behind me with force if she doesn't wise up! She inches backwards and Ara and get to watch a train wizzing by close up. The force of the wind rocks the car, the sound is deafening, I am shaking and asking Ara over and over if she is ok. She on the other hand is thrilled to be so close to a train.
I have always held people who get hit by trains in contept. I would always say, "how can you NOT see a train is coming?" Now I know and I am truly sorry.
My back, neck, and abdomen hurt but Ara seems completely unaffected. I am having trouble letting go of all the "what ifs" though and I am back to cringing every time I watch a car approach in the rear view mirror.
Jury Duty
I can't believe they are sticking me with jury duty AGAIN! I have never known someone who gets called as often as I do. I think there is some lazy government clerk out there who keeps choosing me because my last name starts with an A! He is too lazy to turn to the next page when he "randomly" picks people (notice in my scenario the incompetent is male). I am going to actually try to get out of it this time, I never have in the past but I have Ara and I cannot be on some jury for a week. Besides, I have small faith in our 'system' anyway. Sorry punks that is how I roll. I freely criticize and do nothing towards correcting. Bite me.
I can't find a comfortable way to sit or lay, my back is crack-y.
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