Penguin Dream

I had the most amazing dream this morning!
I was at some sort of camp or retreat, it reminded me a little of church camp from my youth except that it was right on the vast, dark, turbulent ocean. It was also snowing but being a dream I wasn't feeling the cold I just knew that it was cold. It was a stormy night with snow so I decided I would like to take a swim in the ocean (of course right?). I know it sounds kind of nightmare-ish but my ocean dreams are like flying dreams for other people. When I am swimming in an ocean with no boundaries I feel utterly alone and free and somehow brave. So, I am back stroking through the strong waves really enjoying myself when I realize I am close to a sheer black rock cliff. I try to steer away from it but I keep coming back to it. Then suddenly some animal attaches itself to my neck and I feel it's face on my cheek. Again, it sounds like a nightmare and even in my dream I thought, "I should be afraid, but I'm not". I knew that it was a baby penguin somehow and I let it continue to cling to me. I started to dive repeatedly, thinking that it would want to let go and that I could shake it loose. It clung tight so I continued to swim until I was back at the camp. I took the penguin with me to a mess hall where I saw some of the ladies that have been making me feel so unwelcome at church.

These ladies are bothering me more than I would like to admit. They aren't bad people but the looks on their faces (and their words) tell me that I am not one of them. I am not accepted and that hurts me. I'm ashamed to admit it but I start to imagine what they must see when they look at me and my self esteem takes a hit.

Anyway, in the dream these ladies see me with my fuzzy little penguin friend and they start to whisper and hiss to each other. I overhear that my penguin is an endangered species and it's illegal to remove one from the wild.

This is a little nod to the Desert Tortoise adoption program I want to be a part of. And that someone just a few weeks ago offered me a baby (bred in captivity) and I turned it down because I want to go through the correct avenues.

So I decide to take my illegal penguin to my room and then the dream gets a little hazy. There is some confusion with which room is mine and I can't seem to find keys or something or my Mom has them... I briefly see my brother which has no bearing on the plot of the dream just that it is pretty random. I guess I found my room and went to sleep because the dream continues the next day. It's still dark though, like the sun never shines. It's still snowing but there is no snow on the ground. I walk with my penguin to a dark water avenue that winds through narrow channels in the cliffs and camp (anyone read The Host?). So.. now apparently I am in a Venice camp or underground cave system? As I am rowing I see my Dad and his fiancé, Ann and they get into the boat. I am feeling anxious about my penguin, I don't want them to squish him. For some reason, I feel like they can't see him. Suddenly the passage opens on one side and I see a glacier lake and 3 adult penguins. Feelings of relief and sadness roll over me as I decide to take my little penguin to them.

And then I woke up.