Breaking Dawn kept me awake! (and Pre-K)

Tidbits:

• I am currently reading Persuasion by Jane Austen.
• I borrowed the movie to watch when I’m done.
• I am researching Pre-K for Ara and plan on visiting a few schools this week.
• I was sullen and moody at church and I can’t really blame any one else for that. 
• Ara has been drawing the most vivid characters out of letters. 
• I have been practicing again and it feels great.
• Ara’s constipation is clearing up, I had to resort to meds though. 
• I will still be tormenting Alex and Ara with whole grain, flax seed, Omega-3 filled meals anyway. 

Sleep deprivation: 

For the past 2 weeks I have been having trouble sleeping.  It was a spiral that spun out of control.  I began to feel stressed about going to sleep so that when I lay down my heart would race and I would squeeze my eyes shut.  Not the most productive sleeping environment.  I was getting on average about 3 hours of sleep a night and I was GRUMPY about it, let me tell you!  The past few days I have been sleeping just fine however, and I think I can pinpoint the source of my sleeplessness.  Breaking Dawn.  I was listening to it on my iPod every night.  This is my second read and I remember having problems sleeping with every book in the Twilight series.  Of, course I was usually lying awake, light on, book in hand so it was less noticeable.  There are themes in the book that really get under my skin.  On top of being an incredibly suspenseful book.  I actually feel like I should identify with the author more because she is a mother herself.  As is the author of Harry Potter.  But, in Breaking Dawn I find myself thinking that, for a Mother, she is strange.  Bella, knowing that she is going into a situation where either her or Edward will die states that she will not live without him.  In my head I wondered, how she could be so selfish.  Did she think her daughter would prefer her parents to leave her together so that they would feel no grief?  What of her daughters grief?  I suppose I am supposed to see the bond between Edward and Bella as unbreakable, perhaps stronger than a normal love.  Stronger than a Mother’s ties to her child?  Maybe I am being too harsh, I know that she was trying to ensure her daughter’s future by sacrificing her own.  At least that is how we are supposed to see it.  I know it’s a romantic book with very young characters and meant for a young audience but I just couldn’t identify with Bella on that level.  The night she first saw her baby and learned that her life could be in danger from her accelerated growth… Bella went off and had a magical night with Edward.  I KNOW the baby was asleep, but I would never have been able to compartmentalize that information long enough to go have a carefree night.  Is that just me?  “Oh, my little girl’s life is in danger?  Well, I’ll think about it later, after all she is asleep”.  A mother wrote this?  In the final installment of Harry Potter, the author has a Mother step into the role of protector to take down bad guy #2.  Out of the blue this sweet little lady steps in to shield her children from danger and does what no one thought her capable of.  And in fact the very reason Harry is so powerful is because of his Mother’s unconditional love.  Ok my rant is over, you can see I was getting obsessed with this and since I finished the book I have been sleeping better.  I am currently listening to A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson and sleeping so much better!

 

Pre-K:

I have been staring at my computer screen in frustration pouring over information about local schools offering a pre-k program.  Aside from the emotional factors I have to also consider price, location, and quality.  Most private schools are too pricey and even the community schools sometimes charge a good amount.  There are also a few charter schools in our neighborhood and they are free.  So, do we try to put her in a program at an elementary school, one that she could stay at for K-6 or do we look at a program based solely on it’s student:teacher ratio, report card, test scores? 

I keep asking myself if I was right to keep her home.  Is she better off now than she would be if we had sent her to daycare?  I can see the drawbacks.  She is socially not as advanced as many other children her age.  She doesn’t know how to wait in line or interact with her peers.  On the positive side she has great communication skills, and a good sense of herself.  How ready is she for school?  What more can I do to help her?  I have questions… I also have books on the subject but I am still torn.  We have been working with her everyday on her letters and numbers and she is excelling beyond my expectations.  She doesn’t lack potential that is certain.. she takes after her Dad. I want so badly to make things easier for her.  To prepare her for the world.  I want to give her the skills to navigate school and at the same time I want to protect her forever.  I’m a wreck, anyone surprised?  Didn’t think so.

 

Wow this was a long post.

 

I still have no wallet.