I'm sick today so I'm doing a lot of laying around trying to think of things to occupy Ara with. My Dad is in California today for my lola's (Filipino Great Grandmother) funeral. I want to post some pictures of her from our visit last May but I can't remember where I put the little key drive thing. My brain is useless today! My great uncle emailed the obituary that he wrote for her and I want to share it here because her life story is so amazing.
Felisa was the third of four children from her mother’s second marriage; she had two half-sisters, and three half-brothers and sisters. As a child, she loved reading but had to leave school in the third grade to help an older sister take care of her children. Despite leaving school so early, she was an able writer in three languages, Kapangpangan, Tagalog, and English. She loved sports, playing softball in her youth, often at first base because she could leap high for balls thrown wide and wild. In 1935, at age 19, she married Aniceto, a young soldier in the Philippine Scouts.
Evident early on in her life, her strength and resourcefulness often kept her family from harm. On December 7, 1941, the Japanese armed forces attacked and eventually occupied the Phillippines. With her husband away defending the Philippines, and pregnant with her fourth child, alone she protected her three young children, evacuating them from her home at Ft. McKinley to a village about 30 miles north of Masantol. This village was not immune from the Japanese planes, which dropped bombs which she described as larger than her forearm. To safeguard her children from bombardment, she dug foxholes, where she lived with the children until the bombings ceased. To keep them fed, she bartered and bargained on the black market for any food she could find. Along with other woman, she slaughtered chickens and pigs. Assisted by midwives, she had her fourth child in July 1942. During the Japanese occupation, she rarely saw her husband. He, along with thousands of Philippines and US soldiers, was captured, and forced on the infamous Bataan Death March. After arriving in the prison camps, he attempted to escape but only to be shot and returned to a Japanese prison camp. He made good on a second attempt to escape, and surprised Felisa, making an unannounced visit to her door in July 1943.
In 1950, with the outbreak of the Korean War, Felisa and her children, now numbering six, saw her solider husband off to another war. Her husband, now a member of the United States Army, saw close combat for which he received the Silver Star for his heroism. Felisa wrote to Aniceto’s commanding general, eloquently describing the hardship of raising six children on her own if he was killed in combat, and requested that he be sent home to his family. Disappointed, Aniceto was home within the month.
In 1955, Felisa packed her family and left her homeland to join her husband now stationed in Japan. After two years, the family moved to Ft. Lewis, Washington. In 1959, her husband retired from the military, and all eight piled into one 1957 Buick to make the 18-hour drive to Sacramento, where they put down roots. Here in Sacramento, Felisa had her last two children.
As her children grew up and had their own, Felisa became “Lola” to her growing grandchildren, followed by great grandchildren. For almost fifty years, she often had at least one grandchild in her care. Her last grandchild, Emilio, spent much of his first year in his Lola’s arms and care. Besides the special foods she would cook for the grandchildren, she was fond of making up unique and playful nicknames for them.
Her final days and months of life were spent in the generous and loving care of her fourth daughter, Dellie and her husband, Dr. Achelle Punla. This Christmas was spent with her children, grand children and great grand children. Her family has lost a very strong, but loving mother and grandmother, aunt and friend. She held the loving respect and admiration of all who knew her. Though she was our family’s heart and soul, we each will carry her love forward.
I don't want to sound insensitive but I was surprised how sad I felt when I learned of her passing. As she grew older she spoke English less and less. My memories of my lola are mostly of her in the kitchen cooking for our family gatherings. I remember the smells of fried rice and lumpia. She always had a smile for me. She would place her soft worn hands on my face and smile and speak in tagalog to me (which I didn't understand). My childhood is filled with memories of my great grandparents wonderful house in Sacramento. I only realize now how much I miss those gatherings. How much I wish that Ara could have those same memories. But now she is gone, and it will never be the same. That makes me sad. Ara did get to meet her last May and the image I have of them locked in each others eyes smiling is a very comforting one. Great great grandmother! Today I am sad that I am not in Sacramento playing Ave Maria for her. She wanted me to do that and I am not there. I feel guilt and sadness. I remember nodding every time she would tell me that this was her wish and thinking that I would be too sad to play. My thoughts are with my family there. They have had a rough couple of years, seeing my lola through her failing health. I wish I could be there, I can imagine there are tears but also laughter and food.. lots of food. That is the Filipino way! I keep getting the crazy urge to call my Grandma in California to beg her to move here. I want so badly for Ara to know and love her like I do. Visits don't feel like enough. Since Ara was born I have noticed how very few Filipino customs I have kept. Ara is only 1/4 Filipino (1/4 white (sorry if that was not pc) and 1/2 Hispanic) she has so many pieces of herself, so many places to belong. I want her to love and embrace that about herself. Suddenly I feel out of energy to write and to feel this way so I am going to stop.
A quick list of things I want to blog about:
- Pictures from Christmas
- CA pictures
- The Yard
- Current Books
- Ara's chores and cooking
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