"I think the only reason I never lost my mind is that I knew I was innocent. That wasn't a happy thought, so the dementors couldn't suck it out of me..."

~SiriusBlack

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Caution Child at Play!

Ara crawled today! She has been getting around by scooching, rolling, and turning but today she got up on her hands and knees and zoooomed across the living room! I felt the tears well up and Bard looked at me and said, " You sound sad! She is going to think you're sad!". I only cry because I'm so proud and well... it seems like she is growing up so fast! On a less happy note, Ara still hasn't really shaken the cold that she has had for about 2 weeks (we took her to see her ped last week and they checked for strep throat). She went to her well-baby visit today and the doctor wants to have her lungs X-rayed to check for any repertory infections. Everything else about her visit was positive though. She is in the 75.90 percentile, she weighs 20.1 pounds, and is 28 inches tall. I love that you can say her height in inches! Unfortunately she had to get 3 immunization shots today even though she was already feeling sick. That made for an hard day for her, but she tries hard to keep a smile on her face. I told her that for Mother's Day I would like her to feel better and get lots of rest lol!

Is it on me?? I think it's on me!!

Early this morning (4 AM) I was ripped from a deep sleep by a strange scratchy noise. I had fallen asleep on the couch so I laid there listening, trying to pinpoint the source. It was almost like the sound of a hard drive working hard so I got up and walked over to TomPuter, nothing. I turned towards the torch lamp I had left on, nope. Then I realize... it's coming from the trash right next to the lamp. The trash is empty except for a few chile saladito seeds, a candy wrapper and... a COCKROACH! Oh you didn't know? I have a paralyzing fear of roaches (and snakes). I stood there horrified. What should I do? The bug was trying to climb up the side but apparently couldn't get a grip on the plastic liner. It was helpless, and yet I was frozen with fear. My mind was racing, my skin was crawling, and the bug... well he was relentlessly trying to climb with his disgusting little legs. I wanted to wake up Bard, instead I called my cat, Chester. Kuku (AKA Chester) immediately heard the scratching when he entered the room. He crouched down looking excited. I grabbed him up because I was suddenly afraid he would knock the trash over and the bug would be free! In my mind a sad little plan was forming. Using a big black trash bag I covered the top of the trash can, turned it over, and used a twisty tie to close it. Then holding the bag at arms length in front of me like a bomb I ran to the back door, opened it, and threw the bag, trash can, and roach as far as I could. It was a metal can so it hit the cement with a sound like a gun. I slammed the door and then pleaded with Kuku to sleep with me to watchout for more bugs. So now I need a new trash can... and to never see another roach as long as I live! ICK! Also... if someone could please pick up the trash bag outside my back door, it would be greatly appreciated.

....

::Ara Update::

"I have a name!"
Yesterday morning I came into the kitchen where Ara was having her breakfast and like she always does when she spots me, Ara stops, and stares at me expectantly. Unlike an adult Ara looks you straight in the eye, reading you, she tries to keep her face neutral but you can see the smile that is waiting to burst forth. She looked like she was willing me to come to her! I bent down to kiss (and smell) her head and she turned to me and said very seriously, "Mom". Bard, my sister, and I all drew in breath and waited. Still looking at me she says, "Mama" and then as we are all starting to cheer she says, "Mom" one more time! I have a name! Woo hoo! She called me Mom a few times today and she doesn't seem to think it is extraordinary but it makes my heart skip a beat everytime.

....

"Yam Yum"
I made Ara Yams today, and she loves them. So much so that she painted her entire face, highchair, and everyone within arm reach with them. We also gave her a rice cake for the first time and she had a blast. Bard was making fun of me today for my strange interest in making babyfood since I am known for burning water.

....

"Rolly Polly baby"
It's amazing how fast she is growing, I think we can almost officially say she is crawling. She still doesn't have the hands and knee thing completely down but she can pivot, roll, backwards crawl, and lunge to get where she is going. She seems really focused on pulling herself up with furniture, maybe she thinks crawling if for the dogs and she would prefer to skip ahead to cruising.

Smokey smokersons moved in.

New people moved into the townhouse that connects to ours and I have to say we have definitely had better neighbors. For one thing, they smoke like (insert analogy here) and it sounds like they enjoy a good game of "Slam your body against the wall". I think I am particularly sensitive about the smoke issue because growing up I didn't have a choice about breathing smoke. Everyone in my family smokes except for me and it was something I had to deal with. I am sorry to all of you smokers out there... It's nothing against you personally. Just that you have chosen an activity that really stinks up the air! In short, you're stinky! Ok, ok I'll stop before I get too many hate e-mails. I happen to like a good deal of people who smoke and I'm sure they could complain about something I do that er.. stinks as well.

Ara Update:

• I can't get over how cute she is when she is trying to crawl. Cute cute cute.
• She holds her breath when she is trying really hard to get her butt in the
  air.
• She has adopted a cute stuffed kitty as her favorite toy. She chews on
  it, talks to it, and hugs it when she is sleepy.
• She has recently discovered she has a tongue. She likes to stick it out and roll it around in her mouth. She also loves to play with other people's tongues!

Me update:

• I am tired! It's 11 PM and I should have gone to bed an hour ago.
  
• I played Final Fantasy for about an hour tonight. I suddenly felt like doing something that was completely unrelated to real life!
  
• This is a crazy week and I am already wishing it was over.
  
• I have been thinking a lot lately about starting a graphic design certificate program. I think I will look into a summer class.
  
• I was doing pretty good on my diet until today. I went all day without eating and then had drive through hell on the way to work.
  

:(

Today marks a week since Ara and I are no longer breastfeeding. I feel a lot of sadness about this. We have been through some stressful times the past 3 months and my milk supply wasn't keeping up with her growing demand. I tried, I really did. I don't want regret or sadness to cloud my beautiful memories. Ara was exclusively BF until she was 6 months and I should feel proud about that and stop dwelling on the fact that the experts say 1 year. It is a personal issue. The most personal issue I can think of. Ara pretty much weaned herself, she wanted more milk and the bottles have a faster flow. I am so grateful that I was able to give my little girl the best start possible. I had a lot of support from Bard, the Birth Center, and my Mom and I needed it to get through the difficult beginnings. I am going to lift my head and look forward to all of the wonderful stages that are to come. I am! It's crazy I almost feel like I am saying goodbye to a good friend... I have read all of these articles on how to make weaning easier on your baby, and it turns out I am the one who needed weaning support. My daughter is not afraid of change, she knows she is loved, and she has an unbreakable spirit! Ok, I tried but I still feel sad. I guess I need more time. Thanks for listening.

Matrix and Legos

We just finished watching the last Matrix again. One of the best things that can be said for that movie is that it gives you plenty to complain about when it's over. Oh and go go Will Smith's wife!

---

Ara was a super cutie today. She does this thing where she puts her forehead on yours and moves her head back and forth. I don't know where she got that but she has done it since she was probably 4 months. Anyway, she was giving out lots of Ara head-hugs (as we call them), and she was all smiles and giggles. She seems to be feeling a lot better, her appetite is back, her nose is less... drippy, and she is back to crawling/wiggling around. I haven't really gotten a chance to rest yet so I'm still feeling blah.

---

We got her this gigantic bin full of really gigantic legos at Walmart. She has been fascinated with Joey's regular legos so it seemed like a good buy. First thing she did was dump out the legos and play with the plastic bin. There you have it. We should have just gotten her a rubber maid box. I had fun building with them though!

Mom 101 :: NAP TIME

10:01 AM I put Ara in her crib for a nap. She flips onto her tummy before I even leave the room.

10:05 AM On the baby monitor I hear her making cooing noises and crawling around her crib. Her crib-music thing turns on.

10:06 AM She makes frustrated noises. Probably backwards crawled herself into a corner.

10:07 AM I stand by the door deciding if I should go in.

10:08 AM I decide to go in then she suddenly stops crying and makes little squeaky happy noises. So I wait some more.

10:09 AM I wish I had a video monitor so I could see what in the world she does in there.

10:10 AM She cries the "Mommy come get me cry" I stand by the door again. She stops. I start to walk away. She cries again, sounding very tired.

10:11 AM I am standing near the door, hoping she will find her blanky and fall asleep.

10:12 AM Still hoping. Crying is now off and on. Maybe just maybe she is drifting off.

10:13 AM Crib music-thing stops playing. I haven't heard any sounds for about ONE MINUTE!

10:14 AM Silence. I start to relax. I even consider going to the bathroom since I really have to pee!

10:15 AM I am still sitting near the monitor. I still have not gone to the bathroom.

10:16 AM I finally believe she is asleep and run to pee!

10:18 AM Relief. She is asleep and my bladder is empty! Now I have an hour to clean up from breakfast. Get ready for lunch. And although I should return a few phone calls and look some stuff up I plan to lay down instead. This cold is kicking my butt and I couldn't sleep at all last night.

10:53 AM She wakes up with a cough and cries.

10:54 am I go get her!

18 minutes to get her to sleep. 36 minutes of sleep. Play, lunch, wash, play, repeat.

Ara and I have colds. She complains less than me though!

Summer is almost here and I am really looking forward to it. I feel a little stretched these days and I could use some R & R with Ara. Watching the cacti come into bloom makes me a little nostalgic (wow that word was hard to spell.. Another job for SPELL CHECK).

Last summer I...

• Spent long hours laying on the couch watching the birds in the trees and daydreaming about my little baby.
• I agonized over names.
• I drank WAY to many strawberry shakes from Mc Donalds (drool). By the way a small strawberry shake has more carbs in it than I used to eat in 2 days!
• I wandered aimlessly around Baby's R Us declaring everything cute.

/sigh

You name it, I can mushify it!

TO DO:

• Take apart and get rid of desk in living room
  
• Laundry
  
• Prepare fruit/veggies for Ara (boil until mushy!)
  
• Go to Target: baby food, formula, washcloths
  
• Sweep/mop kitchen
  
• Clean bathroom
  
• Check studio time for lessons on Thursday
  
• Return phone calls
  
• Call Ped about Ara's runny nose and goopy eye
  
  

Mushy Food, my specialty!

Ara LOVES my cooking. Finally someone who appreciates my talent for boiling stuff until it's mushy. Carrots, pears, apples... you name it, I can mushify it!

Ara Update:

• Food on tray :: in hand :: not squished :: into mouth!
  
• She can really cover some ground on her hands and knees, the only drawback is that she is going backwards and that pisses her off.
  
• She is exploring strawberry this week.
  
• She is starting to assign certain sounds to objects. The dog and cat are officially labeled. Me? I'm still just the lady who comes answers to ANY sound so I'm not worthy :)
  

My sister got in a car accident today, nothing serious just a really small fender bender. The driver she rear ended seemed a bit dogey though and it got me to thinking about how to respond when you are involved in an accident. I was creating a form that would remind me to gather all of the important information and keeping it in the car with me. SOoooo since bard is badgering me to come watch "Yo Mama" (a sort of funny new comic show we found last night) I will just copy paste what I found and work on the rest later.

• Other driver information:
  Driver's date of birth
  Driver's DL #/State
  Driver's name & address
  Driver's license plate #/State
  Driver’s insurance company name
  Policy # and expiration date
  Policy holder's name & address
  Vehicle owner's name & address
  Injuries or property damage

Also...

If you kill or injure an animal, pull over to the side of the road and stop. Try to find the owner. If you can’t find the owner, call the nearest humane society or call the police or CHP. Do not try to move an injured animal and never leave an injured animal to die.

Now Showing

Now Showing :: Ara trying out her new car seat!

I'm actually just using this as a test video. I am trying out Picasa (some sort of image organizer software from Google).

Sad Stove Update :: It sat out in the sun for about 2 weeks, right where I photographed it. It served as a work table for the guys who were fixing up the place so I never imagined they were going to plop it back inside the apartment! Viva la Stove!

Hi, I'm old.

Hi, I'm old.
Don't worry, my cholesterol is good and I still seem able to get up after I fall down. But, I am definitely old. I know it's not politically correct to declare this within earshot of people who are numerically older than me. I know this, and yet I am declaring it on the web (where I assume people older than me serf). I have been thinking about how super old I will be when Ara goes to high school. My parents were much younger when they had me. When my Mom was my age I was already 10! Ara is going to make me drop her off a block from the movie theatre, I just know it.

I have even suddenly seen the wisdom in minivans.

The list:

The diet starts tomorrow. Carbs Be-GONE!

Try to make Ara's some baby food from fresh ingredients.

Practice the Ginastera piece.

Lucy is pregnant, I know I shouldn't be excited.. but I am! We will be making reservations at the hermitage No-Kill Shelter for the kittens.

Ara Update:

She is SOOOO close to crawling! She gets up on her hands and knees and rocks back and forth.

She can officially roll both directions.

Every time she sees the cat she says a specific word. I think that might mean cat in her language.

I have been sitting in my computer chair for about 20 minutes now half zoning out half skimming random blogs. I ran across this one; Entering Turtle Land. I scrolled down just glancing at the pictures. As soon as I saw the cute puppy pictures I began to read. Cute puppywuppy named Yuki. Cute story. Just the frame of mind I wanted to go to bed in. Early morning tomorrow and a baby shower in the afternoon. Next week is crazy, I am subbing for a chamber orchestra in town and I have to leave teaching early and drive like mad to make it to rehearsals semi-on time. /sigh. I'm going to pick a Harry and read until my eyes close (which won't be long).

Food for Cash? Are you crazy?

This morning my Dad, Bard, Ara, and I stopped in at Barnes to browse for books we never plan to buy and of course an Italian Soda (raspberry) from Starbucks. Ara missed her morning nap so I had to keep driving her around in her stroller to keep her entertained. When we finally gave up we headed for this Italian Bistro my Dad had heard was really good. Everything was cheap, hot, and pretty darn delicious. We had the all-you-can-eat pasta, salad, and sandwich bar. Ara sat in a high chair watching all of the people and practicing her amazon woman yell. She was in heaven because we were sitting right in the path of the buffet and everyone in the restaurant stopped by to tell her she was adorable. One by one she threw all of the teething toasts I had packed on the floor. I was reading in the "What to Expect in the First Years" book recently about how basically 'dirt don't hurt'. All the same though, I wouldn't eat something off of the floor so I don't see why I should encourage Ara to. I know that at some point she will probably be licking floors like those but... never mind lets not think about it. We had her in the new car seat, that we agonized over and, guess what? I'm completely having second thoughts about the model we chose! We originally got a Graco from Target that was forward facing and when we got to reading the manual, it went straight back. It's crazy that Graco wouldn't mention that the requirement was 20 pounds, 27 inches, and (the part they left off) at least 1 year old. So next we went to the shiny baby stuff emporium, ortherwise known as Baby's-R-Us. We touched, poked, and pulled on every seat in the place. I wish we had the budget to buy the super safe, side impact protected, cushy Britax seat, but alas $300+ was a bit steep. The chair we chose was another Graco and was in the $150 range. It has really thick memory and EPS foam, but does not have the special side impact protection, AND it's u-g-l-y. Wow, I certainly digressed there from my restaurant story. So, anyway the bill came and as we went to pay the very stressed out waitress starts explaing that their card machine is down! Everyone was in a panic. What were we to do? Seriously, as I glanced around the restaurant and I saw people rumaging in their bags and shooting confused looks at their dining partners. Cash, what is that? Eventually, we sorted out our bill by leaving cash for the tip and paying with a (pause for dramatic effect) check. We were told this was an exception because they normally don't accept checks. By the way when did people stop accepting checks? I didn't even notice, can you still write them in grocery stores and Targets? Poor waitress lady explained that they wouldn't have a new machine until tomorrow morning. I wish I could have stayed... What would we have done if I didn't randomly have my check book on me? Wash dishes? I think when I began this story I was planning on summing up with some witty conclusion about how we seem so advanced but take away our 'machine' and we are totally helpless. In retrospect that conclusion doesn't seem all that witty. You know something else that wouldn't seem witty? Well, I could post this without running spell check! I crack myself up. Haha.

Oh Baby

So my sister gets one of those entertainment type magazines, I'm not sure how often they are delivered but it seems pretty frequent. I pick them up now and then and find myself drawn into the baby dramas that are CONSTATLY being reported. Now, I know I have a baby so I am naturally interested (I think anyway) in other people's baby stories. What I wonder though, is everyone else in the world as fascinated as I am in the birth plans and raising of celebrity children? Does everyone care if Angelina chooses to have her baby in a wildlife preserve in Africa? Or weather Katie can scream if she wants to? How many out there want Brittany to buy a car seat and stop using the high chair as a prop for chair dancing? I'm just curious. It seems as if this particular magazine BELONGS to Angelina, Katie, and Brit, they are in it so often. I always crack up when some journalist makes a big deal about Angelina blowing up at Brad for little things... umm the woman is PREGNANT. Understand that the bump is a universal signal for "don't mess with me". Besides I imagine, just from the looks of her or something that she is not to be messed with under most circumstances. That may be unfair... I don't actually know anything about her, besides what I've read in unsubstantiated gossip articles. But, she was Laura Croft right? Don't burst my bubble. I was a Tomb Raider fan way back in the day, like in ancient times. The movie was a little unfortunate but she looked the part like no one's business.

Sad Stove

If only the stove could talk. Yes, if only. What wisdom it could impart. Thus begins my photo essay that will change the world! Woe to the Forgotten appliances. My neighbors recently moved out and this is... no WAS their stove. I visited them at their new place yesterday, although I won't be telling the sad stove about it. I couldn't bear the sad look on its knobs if it knew they now have a working oven. We went to a 'quintet BBQ' (minus the bassoon) and had a few laughs. The horn player and his wife are expecting their kid #2 any day now and we all placed our bets. I am on April 20th, boy. I can't believe they have been strong enough not to want to know the sex of the baby. It makes everything so very exciting though. They also have secret names picked out. I so highly approve of the suspense they are creating. Oh speaking of that I have a picture of some teddys' stuck in applesauce to post. Eatable art from their 2 year old son. He is adorable and I was so interested to talk to them about their experiences with baby sign language. Ara hasn't signed back yet, but I've been reading that is normal. It was nifty to pick their brains on child-stuff. We even watched a few Baby Einstein videos which kinda sorta put the other two (the former stove owners) asleep. I keep pausing in my writing, I'm tired. Sunday's we have to get up so freaking early it makes it hard to write at 10-ish at night. Today we went with Bard to his church gig and Ara got to charm the pants off of a whole bunch of church ladies. I didn't make it to my Grandparents anniversary party which I feel bad about. Ara was already so thrown off schedule we didn't dare. Plus, (whine) I had a stomach ache last night so I tried to sleep on the couch. I woke up feeling tired and my back hurts! I feel old. (end whine).

:: Ara Update ::

We had a doctor appointment for Ara this morning. It was an important appointment with an important doctor that we have waited 2 months to see (those who know us will understand). Everything went really well, the doctor ordered the tests that we needed. Ara seemed really hyper the whole time we were there. I think she vaguely remembers the feeling of a hospital and has a general mistrust for anyone wearing scrubs. I don't blame her.. at all. She gave the nurse who tried to listen to her heart a pretty hard time. She tugged on the stethoscope in her ears and squirmed as much as possible as she tried to take her temperature. Give 'em hell Ara! I know some people will think it's crazy to say this about an 8 month old but Ara seems to have a real sense of herself. She knows what she likes and definitely knows when she doesn't like something. I am always amazed that she... how do you say this... exists. It goes along with my wonder at people who cook from scratch. Just a little while ago Ara was nothing but ingredients and WHAM there she is, a real person! Oh, and as a side note the doctor told us he knows 2 people named Ara, and they are both men. When we were considering the name I 'googled' it and found only associations like the American Rifle Association but I just did another search and I did find boys! We found the name on a website for unusual names and it said unisex, so that is my story and I'm sticking to it when she asks! The meanings we found were opinionated and beautiful. She embodies both more than we could have ever imagined. Anyway, for those friends and family reading Ara is doing wonderfully and her tests (after the insurance has approved) will most likely be scheduled for next week. Also for an Charlie and Lola fans out there... "she is small and very funny!"

Roar

Listening to the radio in the car... singing along with what ever comes on. Then that song about going down swinging comes on and I get annoyed. It's hot today and my mind seems to be buried under.. something. I get the sense that everything is slow and hot. I had a non-bad dream last night. Well actually sometime this morning. Since I woke up at 5 AM and didn't fall back to sleep after that.
On Sunday my Grandparents are celebrating their 50th Anniversary. We are having a mini-Easter tomorrow because everyone is off work on Thursdays. So I will have super cute pictures to post tomorrow. It's hot. Bleh. I just ate 3 of those mini Reeses Peanut Butter Cups and that made me think of how I need to go on a diet.

Strange Lizard

This lizard was lounging (upsidedown) in the sun a few mornings ago. He was HUGE for a normal lizard and very suspicious looking. My heart was seriously pounding as I held the camera close to get a good shot. I don't know what it is about reptiles, they freak me out! After his photo shoot the lizard decided he had enough and climbed back over the wall. I wish I had added something for scale but you can tell he is about as big as a cinder block. I'm interested to know what kind of creepy crawly he is. I've never seen a lizzy like him.

Ara Update:: She stood!

It seems like everyday Ara is hitting some huge milestone! It actually makes my heart beat harder or faster or louder or something when ever I think about it. Today, Ara had been down for her nap for about 30 minutes when I start hearing her little voice over the baby monitor. She likes to talk to herself after a good sleep, you see. I listen for a few minutes then creep into the room to sneak a peak. Well, she is WIDE awake laying with her feet in the air. So I help her sit up and we play a game of peak-a-bo through the crib slates. She giggles so cute every time I pop up and pretend to bite her fingers which she has on the top of the crib. Then, out of no where she just pulls herself up! There she is, just standing up on her own. I screamed with delight. Which threw her off a bit, of course. She plopped back down on her butt. Then... she does it again. By this time my excitement has everyone else in the room cheering her on. She has teeth and she stands... what next?