Funder and Lightning

 

This is Ara marveling at the sky while a monsoon storm was rolling in.

She is fascinated with the thunder and like I said in my last post she talks non-stop about the "funder"!  She keeps saying that it beeps, so we are not entirely convinced she knows what thunder actually is.

Lady Cakes

Workout Update: Same as usual, I think I need to change up my cardio I am getting bored on the elliptical. I did aerobic and strength today and the Ara and I went swimming.

Ara woke up today talking about thunder and hasn't taken a break to even breath since. The entire car ride to drop off A and to the YMCA. When I picked her up after my workout the childwatch helpers said she had talked to every single kid about thunder. We went to my Mom's to swim and she stopped off at my Mom's truck and told the TRUCK about thunder. Then she continued to tell my Mom about it for the entire 2 hour swim and now we are home and she is drawing pictures of thunder. I think.... she is interested in thunder. She says that thunder is not here now and that she is not scared of if. Then she lists other people who she thinks might be scared of thunder. The cutest part is that she actually says "Fender" instead of "Thunder".

Busy weekend coming up, A is off tomorrow for the holiday. The Y will be closed sadly because I thought that would be a great opportunity to actually make it in time for the step class.

Nap time construction

I struggled through my workout today. I went 47 minutes again but this time my heart rate was soaring in the 170's. I'm not sure why I was up so high the whole time but it killed me. Plus I was still sore from yesterday and I had a awful breakfast (McD Sausage thing). We had McD's for breakfast because we were running late getting A to work and I didn't have time to grab something from home. I usually need to eat something before I work out but that was obviously the wrong choice. We got the the Y later than usual and someone was already on the Elliptical machine I like so I got stuck on the mean one apparently. I really had to keep telling myself to keep going. I would think "hey you've made it 30 minutes, you can do anything for 15 more minutes!". I skipped weights today for two reason, one the trainer told me not to do strength training everyday and, two my body said I was done. I burned 526 calories today in 45 minutes, an all time high for me on the machines. Higher by A LOT from anything I have done before. Why was I so insane today?! 170 is supposed to be the max heart rate for me and I could feel it when I passed that. I was dying! Tomorrow is a swimming day I think, I have punished myself enough for two days.

It's supposed to be nap time right now but of course the landlord is pounding away at the wall again. I am starting to hate him. He is completely renovating our old house and we share a wall. The part that makes me want to kill him is that he is so cheap he is doing all the work himself. So he shows up at noon and pounds away for a few hours then takes off. At this pace he will be done in 3 years and apparently he only works during nap time. There is actually a hole in the wall under the bathroom sink the size of a basketball that I can look through and see the other side. So you can see how the sound is carrying. He may as well be in our living room with his hammer and drill. I hate him. It's the first, rent is due and I hate him. The two are unrelated.

Boring

Workout:
47 minutes Elliptical Average heart rate 150, peak 173
20 minutes resistance circuit

I went over my target heart rate for a good portion of the workout, it felt good but I don't know if that is a good thing or not.

This weekend was good, especially Sunday I was in a really good mood. On Saturday I went to teach, I have had to cancel for two weeks so it was nice to be back teaching and playing. When I got home we all ran to Target to grab some last minute things for my Mom's birthday party and her present. My Brother, Sister, and I went in on an iPod for my Mom. I hope it's something she will use, she was asking about mine at the Y and I don't think I could do it without my Cardio play list. There is something about an upbeat song that really makes you want to move. Especially when I am pushing it at the end I have the incredibly lame 4 minutes song on... it motivates me. Maybe I want to save the world with cardio... lol. When we got home from Target A's Mom was there to take him to do laundry, I have officially been fired from doing his work clothes lol. She tried to lay a huge guilt trip on me about her son works hard he should not have to help wash his own clothes.. or put them away. I resisted pointing out that she works and somehow manages to clean her own clothes even though she doesn't have a personal slave. Normally I would have been offended, but I know she does laundry better than me and personally I think she wants some excuse to come take care of her son/baby. So it works out for everyone. I even think A is glad to have his Mom coming over every week, they go out and have dinner and go to Target and whatever. I try to see my parents every week but he doesn't usually make much of an effort to see his at all. It's good for them to have a standing appointment. So I packed our swimming suits and Ara and I went to my Mom's for swimming and BBQ. We swam for so long! We must have been in the pool for 2 hours and in the Az sun that can drain all the energy out of you. I was still sore from my workout but I tried to sneak in a workout in the pool anyway. Being in water is so wonderful, I love to float on my back and let the water cover my ears. It feels so free. One of the books I read recently described swimming as a salve on your sadness. It washes away your stress and let's you feel weightless and cool. In the water Ara is completely confident. I still have her wearing the life vest but she does pretty well without it by holding on to noodles or tubes. She can go underwater and hold her breath and she can spin and splash! Did I mention I love swimming? Later in the evening Ara had a meltdown, which was to be expected after such a long day but she hit me in the jaw so hard with her head I almost blacked out. I took her to the car to calm her down and she grabbed my glasses and threw them into the street. She was hitting my face and inconsolable so I strapped her in her car seat and said goodbye to everyone. I placed my bag with our swimming stuff in the passenger side front seat and closed the door. As it clicked closed I knew what I had done. My keys we on the seat and the doors were locked. Luckily the clouds had rolled in and she was still wet from the pool. Emily got the door open with a wire hanger before Ara could get overheated and she wasn't even freaked out for most of it. She thought we were playing peek-a-boo with her. By the time the door opened we were both so glad to be together the fit was over and we went back in to eat. I carry 3 sets of spare keys because I have always been afraid of doing just that very thing. All spare keys were in the car! Anyway the rest of the night was fine. Ara and I went home and she got ready for bed. She brushes her own teeth and helps put on her pajamas. Then we laid on her floor and read books, talked, and said her prayers. She went to sleep without a struggle and I relaxed with a movie on the couch. I was asleep when A and his Mom walked in, the had In and Out Burger and looked happy.

Sunday I had to wake up early to watch my nephew at 6:30am. This time I went over to my Sister's because having the two kids here is more work! It was nice, Joey was really happy to have me there paying attention to him. We made the video I posted yesterday. It was great we both laughed until we hurt while making that silly movie. I got a couple loads of mine and Ara;s laundry done and then I left at 3 pm when Em got off of work. When I got home everyone was asleep. A's Mom had come over again to make breakfast and spend some time with Ara. I was exhausted so I joined them and took a nap of my own! We woke up late, 6 pm so we dressed and went out to eat. There was a rainbow in the sky and Ara thought it was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.

So there is my weekend blow by blow and probably the most uninteresting thing anyone has ever written but it's by stream of conciseness! I really need to look into putting my blog back on my domain (fluteloop.com) I don't think anyone even knows I am blogging over here on blogger.com! Still it's nice to write.

The Joe Show

What Ara Can Teach Me.

45 on the elliptical!  Proud.  I even did another 20 minutes of cardio after the fact.. why?  I think I did it because I could and that feels good.  I had only planned on doing 35 minutes today since it is my first elliptical day but at 35 I felt like I could keep going.. so I did.  It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.  I am starting to really feel a difference, this is my third week of working out and it's nice to see.  I can do more, and go longer.  I don't see any muscles yet though.  Hello, muscles where are you?  Haha, kidding I am not planning on being a flex-a-lot lady I just want to be able to keep up with my firecracker daughter.

 

Speaking of fast moving toddler girls...

Ara has been outright ignoring me lately and she has been constantly doing prohibited things to get a reaction from me.  On Tuesday, I changed her diaper then got up to do the dishes.  I turned around and looked at Ara twice, sitting on the couch reading a book like an angel.  The third time I looked she had gotten up and gone to her room.  I though, "Aww she probably wants another book".  I finished the dishes and then went to her room.  She had shut the door, never a good sign.  I opened it to find that she had squeezed the entire tube of foot cream for her rash.  She had it all over her body, on the floor, closet door, her hair.  I had JUST mopped and the sight of goob all over everything gave me a small heart attack.  I was frustrated.  She was delighted that she had not only gotten to experiment with goop but also had won the power struggle with Mom over who was in control.  I was angry.  I washed her and sent her to time out while I cleaned up.  This is just one example of the daily struggles.  I read all the books and and articles about toddlers and their desire for power and control and yet I was still struggling to be even tempered about this kind of behavior.  I was also angry at myself for leaving that tube down where she could reach it.  How do you beat that?  Being mad at yourself for giving your toddler the opportunity to make you mad?  Anyway, today I tried a new strategy.  I think I have been getting too involved in cleaning and working out and cooking and doing dishes.  I have been ignoring clues from Ara that she needs more play time with Mom and less time being told not to make a mess.  Today I vowed to come down to her level and talk with her instead of at her.  We had a dance party and a pretend slumber party.  I got her step stool and had her help make a fruit smoothy.  She peeled the banana and even pushed the blender buttons.  She helped me clean up and I could see she felt happy to be included and proud of herself.  We still had moments where she tested me but this time I was in control. I wasn't mad I was calm and that means that we both win! 

Workout Update and Poo News

My workout this morning was intense and I felt so strong. I was walking around (on wobbly legs) like I owned the world. Who is tough? I am! I did 35 minutes of cardio, the problem is that there is supposed to be a warm-up and a cool-down but when I get to the end and decrease the difficulty I just go faster and my heart rate stays up at 150. I keep telling myself to slow down, but the momentum and adrenaline tell me otherwise. I am going to switch to the elliptical machines tomorrow to keep things new and fresh, and hard. I am a little nervous about 35-40 minutes because the elliptical's always feel like more work to me, but I am going for cardio training so it's really my heart rate I am interested in. I think it's so interesting how they have used technology to make working out more efficient and easier to track. The Y has a computer system that logs your works outs and sometimes the trainers will leave you notes. I like little gadgety things like that, they keep me motivated and help me to push the limits a little more. The weights I did today felt good, I was able to get through the legs even though they felt numb from the bike lol.

I have to tidy up the house because I have a student today but I would rather take a nap when Ara does! The house isn't in terrible shape, I get so tired of doing the floors everyday though. I like all tile, because it seems cleaner than carpet but it's hard on your knees and feet after you've been on it all day and it's a constant job sweeping and mopping. I did all the dishes today but of course another meal has happened and "rinse repeat" literally! I hand washed the workout clothes I wore today and yesterday because they are my favorite and I want to wear them again this week. So I have to rinse and hang those up, then of course do the bathroom surfaces. The list goes on and on, a thousand tiny jobs that add up to probably 2 hours worth of chores. For the moment though, Ara is playing animals and I am giving my legs a 10 minute break.

The potty training is progressing slowly but surely. She seems content to use diapers as long as they are on her butt so it seems it will have to be all of nothing. No diaper, means some accidents but she doesn't like that so she is far more motivated to sit on the potty chair. We bought her some cute little underwear and so the struggle has begun! Pee pee wars! The good news is we have all TILE. Ahh the good and bad. No scrubbing poo out of carpets for me. A clorox wipe and a quick mop and ta da, good as new. I am a poo cleaning super hero. Don't get any ideas, Ara poop only.

YMCA Fitness Person

I met with a fitness expert today at the Y.  I really enjoyed the hour spent with her, we went through my current workout and talked about how to make it more effective and added some things.  I know it's her job, but I felt encouraged and good about the progress I've made so far.  This is my third week and I am proud of myself for sticking to it.  The AC wasn't working at the Y today, though so the second I was done with the trainer, I whisked Ara out of there and went straight to my Mom's to swim!  I hope it's fixed by tomorrow morning, that was super miserable lol.  I will work out either way, that is how hard-core I am.  That's right, feel impressed!  I am trying to increase my cardio, I have been doing a 25 minute workout so tomorrow I will be going for 35 minutes!  It doesn't seem like much but 10 minutes can seem like an eternity sometimes.  I do a half hour strengthening routine as well but I am focusing on increasing the cardio, my goal is 45 minutes at my target heart rate.  The funny part is that they limit you to 30 minutes on the machines... I doubt anyone will be timing me.

Our car is back home with us now, my Dad spent his entire weekend on it in this 109 degree heat.  Stupid car.  I am so ready to look at a car with a warranty.  My wish list includes: working gas gauge, non-overheating, good gas mileage, and... a button ignition!   I'm kidding about that last part but I will be honest that is the feature on the Prius's that excites me the most. 

I've been taking Ara swimming pretty frequently and I am more and more convinced that she is part fish.  Last Friday we didn't have her life vest because it was in the broken purple car.  I took her in anyway and she is so buoyant she practically floats.   She did just fine without the floaty and I was proud and deeply impressed.  I made her 2 little bracelets a few days ago during one of our many craft hours and she has been wearing them everyday.  She loves them, and she looks so cute!

Showered with Baby (presents)

We went to a baby shower for A's niece today and it was an interesting trip down memory lane for me.  This Niece was the one who hosted our baby shower 3 years ago, in the same house, with the same games, and the same people.  So you can see how I drew some parallels!  The mother is young, A says 22 but she seems so much younger to me, he has known her longer so I will defer to him!  We brought Ara with us and it took us a lot of convincing to get her to stop declaring the shower "her" party.  I am still not sure she believed us!  The new baby will have every type of baby apparatus it could ever want or need.  Both parents have families that made sure of that.  Down to the top of the line night vision baby monitor and about a thousand pairs of tiny Nike's.  Someone estimated that the gifts from this shower (their 2nd shower) totaled well over $1000.  And that does not include the crib or the $200 bassinet they received.  So there you go, the going rate for having a baby in style is somewhere in the $2000 range for "stuff" alone.  Not to mention all the other crap the will need but did not know enough to register for.  Like bottles, breast pump (I bet all guys cringe when I say that), diapers, wipes, sleep... oh wait they can't have that no matter where they register! 

The strange thing is, that even being a woman with a kid, I still find showers kind of boring!  I'm sorry!  It's just the truth.  I will admit that I sometimes daydream about Ara having a sibling but when it comes to being excited for other people to have babies I  just don't feel it.  Keep in mind that I had Ara the natural way.  No drugs to ease the pain, just lots of yelling and delirious dreams of killing my midwives (lol j/k I loved them) but even so I think back on infancy as the most painful part of Ara's birth!  I shudder at the sleep deprivation, I never got more than a 2 hour stretch.  The colic.  If you've experienced it then, "nuff said".  The worries over ever squeaky baby sound made in the night.  Oh no, I still remember the pain, it is too early for me to have clouded out the bad.  I see other woman looking all misty eyed over the idea of a baby and I realize that I am either not normal or I have far to detailed a memory. 

Sad Purple Car

The old Mp3 of Ara talking about our car applies very much at this moment.



This morning we all jumped into the purple car, we usually take A to work, then Ara and I spend about 2 hours at the YMCA, then we were going to feed the birds (I am house sitting today), then come home to clean up for my student. Instead I am sitting on the couch in my workout clothes because the... sad purple car has grown distant and unresponsive! What I mean to say is that it won't start. It makes an effort but it's all too much for it I guess.

Ara says she can fix it.

Her suggestions;

1. The purple car needs batteries.
2. The purple car needs a star catcher truck (star catcher is how she says white because it's the name of a white My Little Pony).
   
3. We need a new purple car.

She had more ideas than I did. I really know nothing about cars except that I like them when they drive me around and keep me cool. A is at his computer, unable to get to work and it's already hot as hell outside!

It's sad because the only thing I can think of is to call my Dad but he is at work until this evening so I am lame.

Little Violin

This video is wonderful and has inspired me to expose Ara to more music and to research early start music programs. Don't worry I won't be making her a suzuki zombie, pretty sure she would have none of that anyway!

This Morning's Playtime!

Parties and Books

Friends:

A, Ara, and I went to a friends house for a BBQ and laughs today. I have been looking forward to it since.. A sent me an email reminding me it was happening! I have a terrible memory for dates and times. I need to add that disclaimer to my profile so I can site it whenever anyone gets hurt that I am forgetful. Personally I think it's a borderline disability but I am sure laziness plays a part. I feel like this was the first time we have really had Ara at a get together for adults that wasn't family. I could be wrong, but I think so. Megan (old HS friend and host) was great with her. She had toys and kid friendly snacks all prepared. There was another boy there who was almost 4 (son of orchestra mates of ours (that came out awkwardly)) and he was such a little cutie. He let Ara monopolize all of his toys and even boss him around. He was laid back enough to let her be and that made for great kid-harmony! I felt so bad for him when he took a liking to a toy camera of Ara's and after asking so sweetly to play with it he was denied by my little angel. He looked so sad but no amount of reasoning would convince Ara to share it so I did the "Mom" thing and put it away so it would be forgotten.

Unrelated Book News:
I found an interesting looking book in Walmart's bargain bin called Night Swimming by Robin Schwarz. I don't usually buy books based on their covers but it's summer, I was in the mood for a light hearted book, and... I like swimming? In the books description I believe it actually said, "this is a chic book". The writing was sometimes awkward and the characters insincere stereotypes but the story was entertaining and the message was sweet. And every once in a while the author would throw in really beautiful and insightful tidbits that, in the end made me really care about the main characters. Overall, I really enjoyed it and now I need a new book to read!

That sounded like a 6th grade book report. Go me.

I had more to write about but it's 2 am and I need to get some rest.

Taco later.

Chris Cendana

This is someone I am subscribed to on You Tube.  He name is Chris Cendana and when he posted a video today saying he had to cancel his San Diego show I thought I would add him to my blog just to expose the 2 people who read my blog to his music and voice.  My heart goes out to people who put their whole being into what they love.  Musicians who play because they simply have to, not because they will be famous or rich or have fans scream their names.  If the whole world was filled with people with this kind of honesty then it would be a better place and all the puppies would have homes.

Chris Cendana's MySpace.

Why? MCA!

We joined the YMCA yesterday along with my Mom and her b/f.  I have been feeling really stressed lately and Ara has picked up on my frustration and made it her mission to test her limits every singe second of everyday.  What I am trying to say is that I was desperate for an outlet for my stress and the Y offers that AND free childcare while you leave your cares behind you on the treadmill.  What a dream.  Why have I not been doing this for years?  I spent an hour yesterday in the child care area to get a feel for the place and help Ara transition.  I still think of her as my little girl but the truth is that she is almost 3 and quite frankly she is ready to move out of the Mommy shadow and stand on her own two feet.  She would check in with me occasionally but for the most part she was thrilled to be hanging out with kids and playing with new toys.  Today I took her to the room and she said, "bye Momma".  And just like that I had some guilt-free time to spend making myself feel good.  A has had his reservations about the cost of a monthly membership but I NEED this and $60 seems like a fair price for a little piece of self. 

Crazy Dancer

This guy makes me happy!

Orchestra

Rehearsals started tonight with a guest conductor.  We were about a half hour late so I am sure he was impressed by that! 

I took Ara swimming at my Mom's house today and she had so much fun.  She reminds me of myself, I just love to be in the water.  Last summer I bought her a life vest to help her float but I always held her to keep her face out of the water.  Now she is so confident in the water she complains if I try to hang on to her.  She really understands how to move in the water to propel herself and to keep her face out of the water.  I keep thinking she will be a little fish by the end of the summer! 

This is going to be an exhausting 5 days with rehearsals and/or concerts every day.  It's hard on all of us.  We have to drive to my Dad's to drop Ara off, then back track 30 minutes to get to the rehearsal.  Immediately afterwards we zip back up to get her and by they time we can finally relax and get Ara in bed it is past 11pm.  Ara's regular bedtime is 7:30 pm.  Every concert cycle A and I wonder if it is worth it.  I hate having to impose on my family to baby sit 5 days in a row until 10:30 at night.  I hate keeping Ara awake that late and dealing with grumpy-girl all the next day.  On the other hand, I miss playing and this is my little sparkle of time to do something for myself.  As tiring as it is, it somehow feeds my soul and makes me feel important for something other than cleaning and driving and answering the constant "momma!" call of duty.  I need that for myself and so every time I ask "is this worth it?" the answer is the same.  That doesn't mean I won't complain though!  I just need a live in nanny. 

Seriously though whenever I day dream of what I would do if I were to win a lottery or casino jack pot I think I would like one of those adorable houses in the old neighborhoods.  With a charming courtyard and a shady spot to put a swing in a garden.  I don't think I would actually have a nanny because raising my daughter is my job!  I would however, like to have a maid, driver, and cook!  Can you imagine having all the time you usually devote to chores and grocery shopping and errands to do with as you please?  Ara and I could have a room devoted to painting and someone to clean up after we get a little wild.  And now I feel guilty!  The life we have now is a dream come true in itself so I will pull my head out of the clouds and look around and be thankful! 

I need to get to sleep, it's 2 am and the madness starts again in 6 hours.

Giant Update

I've been unable to post to my blog for so long I don't know where to begin. 

First off, we moved into the other side of the duplex we were living in.  It's so much nicer than our old place but there is still a little part of me that aches about leaving the house that was Ara's first home.  I finally have cupboards with doors and cooling/HEATING that comes through actual vents.  We have 2 bedrooms now and tile throughout.  I will post some pictures another day when I am not so tired.  I wasn't able to leave any sort of message about moving my blog on fluteloop.com so I doubt anyone will be reading this.  I imagine Ara reading this someday and I enjoy writing so I will continue. 

Ara has grown so much these past few months.  She can hold real conversations now and her curiosity knows no bounds.  She can spin like a real dancer and her new passion is My Little Pony. 

I went to California with Ara and my family at the beginning of May.   We drove and I tried to prepare myself for the most horrific road trip of my life and I was pleasantly surprised.  The kids were really good and they entertained each other.  I do really hate long car rides though and I hope to avoid them for a long time.  The visit was very nice.  We visited with my Dad's family and they all met Ara for the first time.  She declared that she did not like most of them.  I want to stop her from telling people that but at the same time I think she is entitled to her opinion.  I just encouraged her to say it in a nicer way! 

<unknown relative> ARA!  Aren't you a pretty girl!?

<Ara> I don't like you (furtive glance at mother) No thank you please!

That's how it went down the line of loud and adoring Filipino aunties until we went to visit my great grandmother (93 years old).  Ara's great great Grandmother looked into her stubborn little face and giggled!  Ara smiled and started to laugh.  It was a wonderful moment.  I took about 1000 pictures on my Sister's camera but I haven't brought them back to my computers yet.  We were able to spend a lot of time with my Grandmother Regina, and that made my heart ache a little.  I miss her so much and I wish that she could be a regular part of my Ara's life.  I wish that I could watch over her and make sure that she had eatable food and her house was in better repair.  I am glad that we went, I didn't really want to go but this was probably the last chance for Ara to meet her great great Grandma.

Well as far as big updates that is all I can think of for now, I have a lot of time to make up for!

Movable Words

I can't post to my fluteloop.com website because it seems my FTP information is wrong. So... I've decided to move my blog back over to Blogger's site until I can figure that situation out. I may just keep my blog here and use fluteloop.com for design and pictures. Anyway look here for more updates!

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This is a test... I can't seem to update via my Window's Live Writer.

My domain expired on the 10th of this month and I hadn't talked to Jaime about renewing it so I kept expecting it to be gone... but it's not! Thank you once again Jaime you always have my back!