TSO Just For Kids

On Saturday A and I took Ara to her first concert (being a musician, that is embarrassing). When we got there and I saw that they had a carpet area for the kids to sit and I began preparing for the worst. I was having flashbacks to story time at the library and Ara running around while I try to catch her and lots of my butt on display.

Before the concert there were a few older kids (probably siblings) wrestling on the ground. It was pretty benign stuff and probably common enough that the parents were ignoring it. Ara was riveted, she stood there starring. She has never played rough with other kids. To be honest it was probably the first time she was really seeing this sort of behavior. After a few moments she decided to join in... there were three kids piled on top of each other and Ara went up to them.. and pile-drivered them. She brought one of the kids to tears and all three of the boys jumped up so as to avoid further injury from her. Ara seemed pretty pleased with herself and not at all sorry. I rushed up to her and tried to explain that she had hurt the boy and she agreed to apologize but we couldn't find him again.

All in all this rocky start did nothing to assuage my trepidation. I picked a spot on the floor as the musicians came in and to my surprise Ara jumped into my lap. She sat quietly through the introductions and as the music started she put her arms around me. Ara was enthrolled. She listended intently and applauded enthusiastically. The perfect audience.

For about 15 minutes.

Then she asked me politely if she could go out, she had to use the bathroom.

So we did. Maybe next time we can stay for 16 mintues! I was so proud of her behavior and it was a good reminder for me to expect more because she is growing up each day.

I Hope You Wore a Belt.

Disclaimer: This turned into a wall-o-text about parenting. Well it's really just a stream of consciousness straight from the mind of a tired mama. This is more for me to read than boring the pants off of you so don't worry if you lose interest on the second sentence!

Ara and I are working on 'owning the problem' with her fits and there has been much improvement. I have been working on planning ahead so as to take advantage of her 'good' hours for boring errands and activities that require her to have patience. I am more decisive about consequences and (trying) to stick to the rules I lay down for her. Ideally if I am consistent she will have a better idea of what to expect when she does certain things. This is the part of parenting that is so hard.. no matter what misbehavior your kid is exhibiting.. it's probably YOUR fault. So, there you are... frustrated with the behavior and frustrated with yourself for not preventing it more effectively. I better clean up my act! I'm not actually suggesting that I can stop a 3 year old tantrum cycle.. I know better than that! But I have been able to significantly shorten them and squash them before they become giant blow-out-worse-day-of-my life fits. I have to remind myself that she is my first priority without giving her the impression that everything revolves around her. Oh the balance. I just get so focused on day to day things. Like.. doing the dishes, such an important task, I couldn't possible stop now and then to listen to her tell me about her ponies sisters and their adventures could I? Dishes can wait. Sweeping can wait. Spills can be cleaned. I can have patience and remember that everything else comes second to her. I have such a hard time MAKING her do things. Like.. walk past the swings and go to soccer practice. I was reading a chapter on cooperation and it was talking about the difference between obeying and cooperating. In many instances I have been thinking I was asking her to cooperate but really I was expecting her to obey. I think if I work harder at cooperating and directing her instead of trying to command I will see better results. She wants to be a helper but her instincts will always be to resist when she feels like I am being a dictator. I know it's a fine line.. several of my family members have chimed in about discipline. I am just not great with being a disciplinarian, it's not in my nature. However, I DO agree that I need to follow through with whatever consequence I have set up for her. So I need to put a little more thought into my threats if I want her to believe I am not full of crap. Haha. That's why my eyes are so BROWN! I am pretty notorious for saying, "Ara, if you act like that I will put your pony on restriction (which means I will take it away for the day)." Then I give her like 50,000,000 more tries before I actually do it. My parents spanked us when we were bad. Not much strategy there. Without the physical fall back plan I think parenting requires you to be more on your game. I won't ever hit her because I think it sends the wrong message. I read once that every decision you make as a parent should be in line with the kind of adult you want your child to grow into. What skills will I teach her to deal with the world when she is on her own? Through my words and actions I can either give her the self confidence and knowledge that she can solve any problem with patience and kindness or I can teach her that force is the answer and the strongest arm rules the world. I want her to know her own mind and to believe that her feelings and thoughts are valid and important. I want her to know she has the right to speak up. I want her to believe in the power of words and communication. It's a lot of pressure. When I think of the WEEKs we took to choose her name and now I have to make decisions that will effect her in a much more profound way. I just decided.. parenting is a hard job! Wow.

Halloween! I love this holiday. Which one don't I love though? I was planning on taking Ara to the YMCA in the morning dressed as a ballerina and then to the Children museum in the evening as James the Train. We didn't make it to the Y because I was up with her late the night before. She has tummy problems. I got her to sleep around 11:30pm but then I lay awake for HOURS worrying about her and hearing her wake up periodically. So we stayed home for the day. My Mom let me use her car to take Ara to the museum though which was a great relief! I was worrying about taking Ara on a bus that late and walking around in the dark with her. I know.. I am a wimp! But it just doesn't feel safe and I am nervous doing things like that alone. The museum was wonderful. Ara raced from room to room discovering and climbing and laughing. We painted, played trains, learned about sea life, played the drums, saw dinosaurs, and just generally had a dream of a night. Ara was well behaved and a real joy! When we left I let Ara have her one piece of Halloween candy. She was thrilled! I took lots of pictures but very few good pictures! It's a tough balance between participating and recording for posterity. You don't want to miss anything and you don't want to forget anything. Well I don't anyway. You only get one shot at these things... she will never have another Halloween as a three year old. Ahh the pressure. It was a great memory and I feel good knowing that Ara had a great time.

Let's Go To The Park!

Ara at the park today. Yesterdays Itty Bitty Soccer day was.. interesting. I am having a hard time convincing her that playing soccer is more fun that sliding or swinging on the playground. I don't want to force her to play soccer because then I can pretty much kiss that goodbye. So I tried all kinds of other tactics. I finally got her on the soccer field through the help of another Mom and her 3 year old son. They raced us over there and Ara was down with that. Once I had her in the practice she did nothing but twirl like a ballerina and completely ignore everything her coach asked her to do. Every drill they set up requires the kids to wait in line. Ara has NEVER waited in line. An oversight on my part, I'm sure daycare kids wait in line all the time. I tried to imagine practicing that at home with her. I imagined lining up the cat, Ara, and myself and then I laughed. We will try a few pretend games with her My Litte Ponies waiting in line for things I think. So back to soccer... Ara was perfecting her twirl-while-looking-at-the-sky move when she took a sudden dive face first into the dirt. She scraped up her forhead and check pretty dramatically. She hardly batted an eye lash over it though, she kept on moving. She eventually ran off to the playground about a 15 minutes before practice was over but since she had yet to even touch a ball I followed her across the park and cut myself a little slack. Her face wounds look pretty bad but she hasn't complained at all about them. I took her back to the same park today. My new plan is to overexpose the park so that it won't seem quite so exciting on soccer days... well SOME plan is better than no plan I suppose!

Terrible Threes?

Ara did this painting with watercolors and I think it's amazing. She still switches hands like it doesn't matter which which she paints with. She seems equally good with both hands.

I look at her development and I am amazed at what a change a birthday can bring. She is three. No doubt about it. She has irrational fears, amazing communication skills, she runs faster, is more curious, and her fits can last for so much longer.

What Kind of Bug is This?

I have found a few of these in the house and I've never seen a bug like it. It has wings although I have never seen it fly. The antenna seem to have 3 segments. It has 6 legs which remind me of a cockroach leg. I have never seen one larger than a ladybug. I has a lot of beetle characteristics but it seems to act more like a roach, scurrying when it knows it's been discovered, and hanging out in the bathroom where it is moist. It just looks sinister to me I hope it isn't a baby roach! Let me know if you recognize this little pest please!

Proceed with Caution

The warning label being slapped on my forehead post-production!

Pumpkins and Apples and Nerdfighter

My pumpkin carving.

I made caramel apples! Fun and delicious. Plus food that can be eaten on a stick is always a good idea.


I just found this You Tube channel by author John Green and his brother Hank. They are funny and I am excited to read his books. What a neat opportunity to read an author that has put himself so much in the public eye.

Ara at Church

Ara and I went with my Mom to her church last Friday to hang out while she cleaned. Members of the congregation take turns cleaning and it was my Mom's turn. I originally wrote that last sentence with "Woman of the church..." then I changed it because it sounded sexist. The sad part is that "Woman" was more accurate. Damn this world we live in where both woman and men perpetrate the stereotypes and pigeonhole all of our potential to live as equals! Lol.

What an outburst.
Sorry.

Ara is cute thought, right? Wow, I need to work on shorter picture descriptions!

On the bus after many schedule mishaps!

I'm in Like with You

"Draw my thing" it's an online game like Pictionary. I just stumbled across it tonight and I like it, although it's difficult to draw with the laptop mouse pad thing.

Puzzle

Itty Bitty Sports

Last night was the first practice for Ara's Itty Bitty Sports league. When we got to the park I had trouble even getting her to walk with me through the park to join the group. She sped off in every direction except the one I wanted her to go in. I had to pull her off of the play ground and then the second we got withing range of the team she dissolved into a screaming fit where she proclaimed to not want anything. After a while she and I approached the group holding hands and one of the coach's' introduced herself.

Ara screamed.

Coach Lizzy and Coach Dave were kicking soccer balls and the kids would run out and dribble them back to the starting line. We watched a few other kids do this then Ara's name was called.

Ara screamed.

Then we chased the ball out into the field. (still holding hands)

Ara was doing really well kicking it back until coach Dave blocked her path and yelled, "You gotta get by me!"

Ara screamed..
...and ran away.

The rest of the night went pretty much like that but she did warm up and she finally let go of my hand.

Ara would do hilarious "ara" things when she was supposed to be kicking. She would be feet from the goal with a ball and suddenly decide she would rather be running to the swings. Once, she stopped mid-kick to pull up hand fulls of grass and throw them into the air like confetti. She learned how to do spitting raspberries in her team mates face curesy of one bleach blond little boy with an ornery streak in him. She refused to kick any ball except the pink soccer ball. She started pretending to fall flat on her back..

After practice she was completely unwilling to cooperate in anything that meant leaving the now dark park and I had to strap her into her car seat against her will.

While she screamed.

Then she screamed some more.

Then, after she had scarfed down a surprising amount of food, she declared that she would like to do soccer again tomorrow! Haha. It's so hard to keep up.

Go Team Toddler Tigers!

Woo

M&M day! Fondue yum

I can't figure out how to rotate this picture because it was sent from my phone but the general idea is there right?  Delicious melted chocolate is all you need to know.  M&M day was really fun and the food was amazing and I am feeling a lovely mix of full and relaxed.  The first part of the meal was melted white cheeses with garlic and other amazing flavors.  We speared bread and vegetables with our long forks and dunked them into the melted cheese.  The only thing I can't figure out is why I don't do this with everything I eat on a regular basis.  Melted cheese makes everything so much better!  Seriously, I would dip my cell phone in if I ran out of dippers and still had cheese... Fortunately it didn't come to that.  Next was a salad.  Which was really good but in hind sight eating lettuce and tomato's was just a waste when I should have been saving room for the chocolate!  Strawberries, rice crispy squares, bananas, marshmallows... It was like heaven.  No really Megan and I agreed this was actually like HEAVEN.  The Melting Pot is officially my new favorite restaurant, sorry Pei Wei.  How can you compete with a bowl full of melted chocolate?  You can't.

 

Happy M&M Day everyone.  Yay!

(Next year Vegas, baby!)

Shoes

Wonder-Fall (or is it summer?)

This morning I played a fundraiser for the Community Food Bank with the Flute Club. I had no instruments (again) so I ended up borrowing 2 different flutes and a piccolo. One of the things I really like about this city is that there is a thriving pool of community musicians. There were several groups donating their time and talents today and that is a wonderful thing to see.

In the afternoon Ara and I were picked up by my family caravan. It took three vehicles to transport all of us to the Pumpkin Patch Farm. All nine of us! The weather was unseasonable warm 94F made the whole day sort of hazy and dusty and HOT. We browsed the stands of crafts and fruit and I bought Ara a marionette puppet. Then we checked out the petting zoo. It was actually really nice. Each animal was held by it's 4H volunteer and they just seemed like really sweet natured, clean, happy farm friends. Ara was enchanted, she loves animals as much as I do, actually probably more. After the petting zoo part of our group wanted to try the corn field maze. I wasn't excited about the prospect. Last year we wandered aimlessly in there for 2 hours and that was before Ara learned how to throw the worlds most annoying fits every 5 minutes. I was going to opt to wait outside but my Dad paid my brother and soon to be brother to carry Ara on their shoulders. Ara is going through a phase that makes her scream ear piercing screams if she finds herself more than a few inches from me... so off I went into the maze. Ara refused to let anyone carry her so she actually walked with us for more than 3 miles. It took a long time and it felt like the sun was so intense. My Sister bought a map this year and successfully led our slow moving group complete to all the check points and out again. I was grateful to say the least. It's funny how I saw the maze as a tiresome duty but Ara.. well she was talking about it when we got home, she will remember it as something wonderful. So I'm glad I went and I'm also glad I kept my negative comments to myself because in the the end the fact that Ara had a great time is all I really wanted. After the maze, I wanted to sit in the shade and drink gallons of water but it was finally pumpkin patch time! We hopped on a horse drawn carriage and were transported out to the fields. The hot dry fields. I sounds like such a complainer but that is my exhausted frame of mind, at the time I was happy and excited. Everyone spread out looking for that special pumpkin. Ara found these little plants that grew pods with little green fruits in them and was very satisfied with unwrapping as many as she could find. I took a million pictures and chose 3 big pumpkins for carving next week with Alison and Charles. My Dad found the perfect little weirdo pumpkin for Ara that had a perfect handle for her. Then we hauled all of our pumpkins back on the carriage, paid, and left! It was a good day for family and memories. Next year Ara and I will go again, and hopefully it will feel less like summer!

Ballerina Inturrupted

I finally found a leotard that was small enough for Ara... or she finally grew big enough to fit the smallest one..

Either way I found one!

We had a lot of fun today playing dress up, taking pictures, dancing, and laughing. She is just the cutest (and clumsiest) ballerina ever!


Ara has been testing me lately. She acts as
though she can't even hear me when I ask her to do something she doesn't want to do.. or stop doing. Actually it feels like she is especially testing my patience and possibly my sanity. Sometimes it's about something small, like putting her plate in the sink when she is done eating. Other times it's scary, like when she decides to make a chase game out of "don't go in the street!". I have honestly been beside myself in frustration. Today was better though. I have been cracking down on the small stuff, I think I let too much slide usually. I have reinvented the time out punishment. Instead of sending her to her room (filled with toys) she has to sit on a kitchen chair for 3 minutes with no talking. Every time she gets up the time starts over. I can see that my struggle is not over by a long shot but even some small improvement is welcome.

Tomorrow we are going to the corn field maze! I am excited. I took Ara there with my family last year for the first time and there are horse drawn carriages and a huge pumpkin patch and over priced hot dogs and fun fun fun!

I took my flute to Bill (the flute fixer) and he gave us a pretty nifty tour of his piccolo factory I will take a camera when I pick my flute up because I want to talk more about it!

Ara says I stink.

From fluteloop

Italian soda

To do

Bank, target, flute repair, safeway.. Boring but so much easier with a car!

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